Carousel Dreams
by Chainlinks
Summary: yaoi: Kensuke. Ken's fallen in love with a dead video and only a dream can bring him back...


Author's Note: Warnings for Kensuke yaoi, major AU, and total.... indescribability? LoL. Just prepare yourself for anything and everything. This is weird. You've been warned. ^_~ Takes place in a universe where Ken and Daisuke don't know each other and where.... well, at the cost of sounding cliche, where anything can happen. And where "anything" does happen.  
  
Carousel Dreams  
  
The screen lit the dark room with its faint glow and scenery flashed by. An airport, then a small plane. It shut off for a moment, then views from a plane, flying high in the sky came into view. Mountains, and trees, a few cities, a bit of empty space. Then, blackness again. Finally, the part he'd been waiting for came on: a bright looking boy bounced into camera range. He was surrounded by rocks and snow, but he looked warm and wasn't wearing anything more than a light tank top and khaki shorts. He smiled for the camera and began to speak.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Hi! I'm Daisuke Motomiya. And I'm lost. But I've got this really cool camera, so I'm filming, just in case... Well, in case..." he shrugged helplessly. "In case I don't exactly survive. I'm sure I will and all, and this is just a stupid sentimental thing I'll be able to laugh at later, but..." another shrug "Just in case, I don't want to be forgot. I've never liked being forgotten."  
  
The screen went black, then lit up again. The redhead returned to camera's view. He looked like he'd been crying and his voice sounded hysterical. "Me again! Well, who else would it be? I mean, I'm hopelessly lost in the middle of... of... who knows where! I don't even know where I am! My plane crashed. It was one of those little mini-planes, y'know, that seats eight people and a pilot. Everyone... Everyone..." choked tears "Died. My sister was with me. And this elderly couple. And a woman with a baby. And the pilot. That was everyone. I'm the only person who made it though, and I'm stuck here. Don't know if I'll ever be saved..." Daisuke forced a smile. "Bad thinking. I will be saved! I have to be. The food I have won't last forever and it'd be impossible to find anything to eat around here... So I have to be saved soon. I'm not going to die."  
  
Another pause, then it lit up again. "Well, I've been here a week. I don't have much food... I'm really worried. I don't want to die." A gaze pierced through the screen, seeming to connect with its sole viewer. "I really don't want to die. I have to be saved... I have to be saved! I've got so much ahead of me! I'll be starting my second year of high school next year, in a new town. Mum says I could reinvent myself and she made it sound like so much fun. She's still alive, still waiting for me. She's probably really worried about me." Daisuke turned away, looking suspiciously like he was crying.  
  
The camera went black, then returned. A new day, it seemed, because Daisuke was smiling brightly again. "I'm back. It's been a while. And I... Well, I know I'm going to die here. But I'm not going to let that make a bad impression on you, right?" He winked at the camera, smiling flirtatiously. "If this is ever found, I just want my parents to know I love them... I'm sorry about Jun, and I'm sorry about me..." Daisuke laughed. "It's weird, apologizing for dying... But I am sorry. Trust me, if I had a choice, I'd be at home right now with Jun and everyone all eating dinner." Daisuke sighed dreamily. "That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Dinner. Mmm... I'm out of food, you know. And I'm really hungry... If I could just... Just... I don't know... I'm really hungry." Daisuke sounded pleading, as if the viewer could reach through time and space to give him something to eat. "I'm only fifteen... Why couldn't I have just died in the crash instead of this..." Daisuke held up a sharply pointed rock and held it to his chest. "I could kill myself, but I won't because there's still... There's still a chance of rescue. I don't believe in it, but some part of me's stuck on that little bit of hope and I can't just end it fast..."  
  
Blackness, then light. Daisuke looked considerably weaker and ill. "I'm not going to live much longer. I want to tell Takeru goodbye. TK." A smile. "I'm sorry for never calling you the right name... And Kari. I'm sorry for always hitting on you. I always knew you weren't meant for me. I hope you and TK work out. And Miya, you're always going to be my best friend. Always! Even in death." Daisuke's face was streaming with tears. "And, whoever finds this video... Whoever it is... Please, can you give it to my family? Or a copy? Or just let them see it, or something..." A choked sob. "I'm going to die... I'm going to die... Why didn't anyone help me? Why didn't they come for me? I'm not dead, you're not supposed to give up! I'm not dead yet!" The boy was hysterical again. "Don't give up on me!" He calmed down, though his tears didn't pause. "This is... This is goodbye, I guess." He laughed shortly. "I have the sudden impulse to say that I love you... But I don't even know who found this..." Another laugh. "What do I have to lose?" He managed a smile at the camera and said sincerely, "I love you."  
  
The camera went black.  
  
Violet eyes stared at the blank screen. "I made the copies, I gave them to your family and friends. I gave your body a proper burial. I can't go back and save you! What else do you want me to do? I can't do anything else." Violet eyes were covered by thick lashes. "Just leave me alone... Stop haunting my mind. I'm sorry. I know I volunteered to help look for you, and I know I was the one to find you... But does that mean you have to haunt me like this?" This boy, barely a year older than Daisuke was crying now. "Just rest in peace. Don't make me fall in love with a video..."  
  
* * *  
  
Ken knew he was dreaming. He had to be. This wasn't reality. The world was done in watercolor, colors blurring together beautifully as if by the brush of a skilled artist. And through the mists, Daisuke came. Daisuke was dead. Ken hadn't even met him. This was a dream. But were you supposed to realize you were dreaming?  
  
Daisuke took Ken's hand. "I'm sorry." the violet boy said seriously. "I didn't mean to let you die."  
  
Daisuke's laugh was more musical than the video recording had managed to capture. "It's okay. Don't worry, I'm not blaming you."  
  
Ken stared. "You're not?"  
  
The redhead shook his head, closing his eyes and smiling. "I don't blame you. I mean, you did all you could. Not your fault, dude!" His eyes glinted as they opened. "Come on, run with me!"  
  
The suggestion didn't sound quite so out of the blue to Ken's ears and despite the fact that he usually hated running. "Okay!" he responded enthusiastically.  
  
"You have to run really, really fast." Daisuke instructed, as if coaching Ken to do something spectacular.  
  
And he was.  
  
Because just as Ken and Daisuke began to reach full speed, Ken felt the back of his shirt rip and something emerge from now-hollow shoulder blades. Wings. Glorious, feathered wings. Ken gasped and stroked one. The feathers were a purple that could easily be mistaken for black. They fluttered, then began to flap, and he began to rise off the ground.  
  
Daisuke was in the same situation, though he was a much more talented flier. His wings were a glossy reddish brown flecked with touches of black, white and gray. He spun in midair, smiling at Ken. "Higher! We have to fly as high as we can!"  
  
Ken followed Daisuke as they flew higher, higher, higher... They broke through the dark clouds Ken hadn't even noticed, flying to the sun... And then they were falling. No, not falling! Diving! He and Daisuke were racing to the ground, caught in some sort of deadly game. Would they crash? Fall? Die? Splatter across the ground?  
  
But, no. They landed on a carousel. A carousel? His horse was a black stallion and Daisuke's was a white one. Both had elegantly crafted saddles and real leather reins. Daisuke wrapped his arms around the golden spiral that rose from his horse's saddle, an innocently seductive motion that made Ken swallow hard. The music began to play. It wasn't a lively melody, it was dark, sad, telling about death and fading and edges that began to blur until there were no longer seperations.  
  
Ken's horse's defined muscels began to twitch. And then he was riding away from the carousel, riding with Daisuke, racing again, or just riding fast together. The spirals through the horses' middles fell to the ground as if by magic, and Ken found himself clinging to his horse's thick black mane. It was soft, like spun metal.  
  
The wind whipped through Ken's longish hair and Daisuke laughed in a way that declared he was free. Then the horses bucked them off with surprising aim and they landed together under a tree, flung together. Neither decided to move.  
  
"Ken, I love you." Daisuke told the other boy. "I just though you should know. You don't know me hardly, but I still love you. It's hard to explain."  
  
"I can't love you." Ken replied. "I can't. You're dead. You're nothing but a video."  
  
"You can change that." Daisuke's voice was a whisper. "If you could love me, you could change that."  
  
"How?" Ken asked increuloudly.  
  
"Have you ever heard of Eurydice? And Orpheus?"  
  
"Yes. That's Greek mythology. Eurydice was killed and her husband Orpheus went to save her from Hades. He was put to a couple tests and ended up losing her because he didn't trust her."  
  
Daisuke smiled and grazed his lips over Ken's. "You've been saving me like that. You're mostly there."  
  
"Mostly there!?"  
  
"You've already passed three of the tests."  
  
"Three!?"  
  
"You followed me to the sky on wings you created with your own mind. You dove with me to the ground, expecting death. You rode with me on horses without fear. Would you want to continue with the tests?"  
  
"Of course." Ken lowered his eyes to the ground. "Daisuke, is it silly if I do fall in love with you?Even if you're just a video and a dream?"  
  
"It's not silly, Ken!" Daisuke protested. "And you've just succeeded in returning me to life!" Daisuke flung his arms around Ken. "You passed the last test and admitted that you might be falling in love with me!"  
  
Ken was puzzled. "That was the last test? Admitting that I might be able to fall in love with you? Not actually saying that I love you?"  
  
"Right!" Daisuke said cheerfully. "Saying 'I love you' isn't a phrase you can throw around. The Fates aren't going to make you say it just to save me. Admitting that it's possible, though, that's just as hard as saying those three words."  
  
"You said you loved me."  
  
"I never lie."  
  
Ken smiled softly. "How do I wake up? And how am I going to explain it when you return to life?" Daisuke grinned. "Just relax. To wake up, all you have to do is walk through that tunnel." Daisuke pointed to a deep, dark tunnel that hadn't been there before. Ken peered in. It was dark and he couldn't tell how far it went on. "Whatever you do, don't look back." Daisuke commanded.  
  
"Don't look back." Ken repeated, agreeing. "This is a test from Orpheus and Eurydice."  
  
"Is it?" Daisuke asked. "All I know is that we have to walk through there and not turn back. And we have a time limit, but it can't seriously take us three hours to walk through a tunnel, right?"  
  
Ken's heart fluttered in fear. If there was a time limit, there was always a chance that it would be broken and then he'd lose Daisuke forever. He stepped in, and immedietly a weight fell on his wrist. It was a bulky wristwatch with the numbers: 3:00 written in neon red digits. "Daisuke?" he asked neutrally, careful not to look back.  
  
The darkness stole his voice and he wasn't sure if Daisuke heard. Even if the redhead did hear, Ken didn't receive an answer. "This must be part of the test." Ken told himself aloud. "Right? Just keep walking. Trust that Daisuke's still there. After all, that was Orpheus' fault. He looked back because he didn't trust that Eurydice was still there. But I'll trust you, Daisuke." Ken began to walk.  
  
2:45, his clock read. It was still dark and silent with no end in sight.  
  
2:15, his clock read. Why couldn't he hear Daisuke's footsteps? And why didn't Daisuke speak? Ken was sure now it wasn't the darkness stealing his words.  
  
2:00, his clock read. What if Daisuke really wasn't there?  
  
1:30, his clock read. Half done. Where was the ending?  
  
1:00, his clock read. Was there really an ending? Maybe it was endless, a task so that it'd be inevitable that he lost Daisuke. Maybe they'd already taken Daisuke because they knew it was impossible.  
  
0:45, his clock read. Where was the end?  
  
0:10, his clock read. He couldn't lose!  
  
0:05, his clock read. He'd lost... There was no end...  
  
0:01, his clock read. Did he dare look back for one last glimpse of Daisuke? ...No. He'd promised not to look back.  
  
An alarm clock rang.  
  
Ken bolted up in bed, breathe caught in his throat. "Daisuke?" he asked automatically. Silence. He'd lost.  
  
And then, a lithe figure sat up next to him in bed, rubbing his eyes blearily and stretching. "Ken, what're you doing up so early? It's a weekend! We're allowed to sleep in." the redhead complained.  
  
"Daisuke?" Ken asked, stunned.  
  
Brown eyes blinked. "Hi, Ken."  
  
Ken was speechless. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Daisuke feigned being pierced through the heart with a spear. "What? You went to all that trouble to keep my family from moving and you can't even remember why?" he teased. "Duh! I'm your boyfriend. Have been ever since that fateful day at the library."  
  
"The library?" Ken asked dumbly.  
  
"Yeah!" Daisuke looked sincerely worried. "We met at the library, remember? Looking up Greek mythology? And we both reached for the exact same book? Orpheus and Eurydice?"  
  
Ken looked puzzled. "We did? So... We met and started going out... And then you were moving, but I stopped your family... And you didn't die after the plane crash... And I never saved you? Or I did, and that's why this is happening?"  
  
Daisuke gave Ken a concerned pat on the shoulder, but smiled reassuringly. "Maybe a little something to help you remember?" Daisuke leaned in and kissed Ken. Ken participated eagerly in the kiss.  
  
Finally, Daisuke pulled away for air. "Remember now?" Daisuke asked teasingly.  
  
"Yes." Ken said truthfully. "You know I get a little disoriented in the mornings."  
  
"I know, but it's not usually that bad!" Daisuke laughed. "What were you talking about?"  
  
"I think it was the dream I had... It was really weird."  
  
"A dream." Daisuke smiled. "Well, it was only a dream, right? Not to be confused with reality." "Right." Ken agreed.  
  
Author's Note: Well. That was only slightly incredibly insane, right? Erm. That wasn't really supposed to happen. This is four plots from four different ficlet I've been planning to write and somehow they all churned together into this odd mix. Comments and critisism are always welcome! 


End file.
